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Xzaerou Deusveritas Cypheraga a.k.a. Omnicide

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Everyone [26 Oct 2004|10:38am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill, to get what I want... what I need...

-How do you gauge lonliness...

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Shinobi Style [22 Oct 2004|02:53pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I went to get my I.D. today. It's like I got there in the nick of time, because when I got there there was no one there no lines or anything, but like thirty seconds after I walked in a shit load of people began to arrive, and a long ass line formed behind me. So, yeah I got my I.D. pretty quickly. The light from the camera nearly blinded me, apparently I was staring directly at it, and didn't even know it.

Afterwards I left to meet SteeLocc at the movies to see The Grudge, but when I got there the showing we were planning to see was sold out, and SteeLocc was already inside. So me being the magnificent and quick thinker I am busted some Shinobi shit. I bought a ticket for a later showing and then was able to sneak into the one Steve was in. I couldn't find him in there so I just took a seat and watched the movie. After the movie ended I still couldn't find Steve so I called him on his cell and met him in the front. While I was waiting for him to get there I returned the ticket (which was for a later showing) and got my money back. He pulled up, and then we left. The movie was alright. I was hoping it would be better but oh well. I saw it for free so it doesn't matter anyway.

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[20 Oct 2004|02:17pm]
These are some songs by various artist that sort of express how I'm feeling right now each in their own way...

DMX - Slippin

Ha ha ha ha ha ha uhh
See to live is to suffer but to survive
well that's to find meaning in the suffering.

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I gots to get up
Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up!

I been through mad different phases like Masons
to find my way & now I know that happy days are not far away
If I'm strong enough I'll live long enough to see my kids
doing something more constructive with they time
than bids I know because I been there
now I'm in there sit back & look
at what it took for me to get there
First came the bullshit the drama with my mama
she got on the fly shit until i split
and said that I'ma be that seed
that doesn't need much to succeed
strapped with mad greed and a heart that doesn't bleed
I'm ready for the world or at least I thought I was
baggin' niggas when I caught a buzz
for thinking about how short I was
Going too fast it wouldn't last but yo I couldn't tell
group homes & institutions, prepare my ass for jail
They put me in a situation forcin' me to be a man
when I was just learnin' to stand without a helpin' hand
Damn, was it my fault, somethin' I did
to make a father leave his first kid at 7 doin' my first bid?
Back on the scene at 14 with a scheme
to get more cream than I'd ever seen in a dream
and by all means I will be living high off the hog
and I never gave a fuck about much but my dog
That's my only motherfucka I had offered my last
Just another little nigga headed nowhere fast

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I gots to get up
Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up!

That ain't the half shit get's worse as I get older
actions become bolder heart got colder
chip on my shoulder that I dared a nigga to touch
didn't need a click cause I scared a nigga that much
One deep went to for kicks
catchin' vicks throwin' bricks gettin by bein' slick
used to get high to get by used to have to puff my L
in the morning before I get fly
I ate something a couple of forties made me hate somethin'
I did some coke now I'm ready to take something
3 years later showing signs of stress
didn't keep my hair cut or give a fuck how I dressed
I'm possessed by the darker side livin' the cruddy life
Shit like this kept a nigga with a bloody knife
wanna make records but I'm fucking it up
I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I gots to get up
Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up!

Wasn't long before I hit rock bottom
Niggas talking shit like damn look how that rock got him
Open like a window no more Indo look at a video
sayin' to myself that could've been yo on the TV
believe me it could be done somethin's got to give
it's got to change cause I've got a son
I've got to do the right thing for shorty
and that means no more getting high drinking forties
So I get back lookin' type slick again
Fake niggas jump back on my dick again
Nothin' but love for those that know how it feel
& much respect to all my niggas that kept it real
Kept a nigga strong kept a nigga from doin wrong
Niggas know who they is and this is yo fuckin' song
and to my boo who stuck with a nigga through
all the bullshit you'll get yours because it's due

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up
Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I gots to get up
Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up!

can't get up...I gots to get up
This is from the heart baby, don't get it twisted
Ahh X RATED!!!!!

Hatebreed - I Will Be Heard

Now is the time for me to rise to my feet
Wipe your spit from my face
Wipe these tears from my eyes [x2]

[Now is the time:]
I've got to take my life back
One chance to make it right
I've gotta have my voice be heard
And bring meaning to this life
Cause I've trusted for nothing
I've been led astray
I've been tried and tested
But I won't accept defeat
Now I've done things I regret
And its time to reverse the rules
I just want to make good on all the promises that I have made

I will be
I will be heard
I will be heard

Now is the time...

Through the worst we prevail
So our voices will be heard
Through the worst we prevail
So our voices will be heard

Now is the time... [x2]

I've got to take my life back...

I will be
I will be heard
I will be heard [x2]
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[20 Oct 2004|01:26pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I suppose I have a good news bad news scenario.

The good news is I won't be living with these bastards most people would call my parents anymore. The bad news is I might be homeless. LMAO. But, even that would be better than living with them. The thing is I'm not even stressing this situation in the least. It's like living with them has killed any emotion within me, and it feels like no matter what happens nothing can be worse than living with them. They've put me through so much shit it's like I'm ready for anything. But I don't hate them for the things they've done. Though , I probably couldn't if I wanted to anyway, because like I said living with them has killed all emotion within me. If anything living with them has made me into a strong person. Thanks to their abuse I can take a brick to the head in the middle of a street fight and get up and keep fighting. Thanks to their negligence I've learned to take care of myself. And thanks to their constant treachery and lies I've learned most people can't be trusted.

If you can't trust your family who can you trust. But, then again I wouldn't even consider them family. Blood ties mean nothing to me. I'd say anyone you can trust is family, and I can't trust them at all. They're always trying to find new ways to screw me. I've met people on the street I'd trust before I'd trust them.

I suppose I could ask a friend if I could stay with them for a little bit, but I don't think I could. I think I have to much pride, even though I don't even know where I got that from. They've done nothing but yell at me and tell me how I'm not worth shit all of my life. I think it's because I've had to do everything on my own that I don't even know how to ask for help...

But, then again a lot of my friends are in fucked up situations as well, and they probably wouldn't be able to do much. I'd probably only be able to stay for a few days, and after that I don't know what.

Lately that Metallica song has been stuck in my head, Wherever I May Roam. If you Don't know the song here are the lyrics:

Wherever I May Roam

...and the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
so in her I do confide
and she keeps me satisfied
gives me all I need

...and with dust in throat I crave
only knowledge will I save
to the game you stay a slave
rover wanderer
nomad vagabond
call me what you will

but I'll take my time anywhere
free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll redefine anywhere
anywhere I may roam
where I lay my head is home

...and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
under wandering stars I've grown
by myself but not alone
I ask no one

...and my ties are severed clean
the less I have the more I gain
off the beaten path I reign
rover wanderer
nomad vagabond
call me what you will

but I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll never mind anywhere
anywhere I may roam
where I lay my head is home

but i'll take my time anywhere
free to speak my mind
and I'll take my find anywhere
anywhere I may roam
where I lay my head is home

carved upon my stone
my body lie, but still I roam
wherever I may roam
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[19 Oct 2004|11:48am]
In death true happiness is achieved, or I.D.E.A. In Death Enlightenment Achieved. I used to think of God as an acronym for Giver Of Death or Gift Of Death. Death is the release, because in death you're brought closer to God, right? At least that's what they say. But what is God? God is what is, was, and always will be. The unchanging supreme being. There is another word that holds that definition, and that everyone wants just as badly. The Truth. The Truth is unchanging; it is what is, was, and always will be. The quest for God is the quest for Truth and vice versa. God is not some holy being that controls your fate and that you are supposed to worship and pray to. God is the answer to life’s questions. The Truth isn’t always pleasant, in fact it can be horrible and depressing. God isn’t all good either. That’s why God has both a right hand and a left hand ( Right Hand Path, Left Hand Path). God/The Truth is the essence of everything both good and evil, and so are we.

Well, I suppose that is enough for now on that subject. If you would like to know more about my ideas (not beliefs), or anything, just ask, or make a comment to this post.
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[15 Oct 2004|02:32pm]
The Forlorn Truth Expressed Through The Calloused Enmity Of A Deified Omnicide Gave You All Anemic Faith
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[15 Oct 2004|12:51pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

I got up this morning to go get my I.D., since my mother said she would take seeing as how she doesn't go to work until five. I go, we get there, I'm in line for a few minutes, then she comes in saying we have to leave, because she looked at the wrong day on her schedule, and she really had to go in a twelve... -.- So I got up and got dressed for no reason...I don't like getting dressed if I don't have to. So, we came home, and she starts bitching at me like it's my fault she looked at the wrong day on her schedule...Their stupidity is really gets to me.

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Dail M For Monkey [15 Oct 2004|12:39pm]
[ mood | productive ]

What kind of disease are you?


forlorntruth is caused by monkeys.

forlorntruth: A case of forlorntruth will cause you to seek out beanie babies as ammunition for a 'bean-induced death ray'.
The only known cure for forlorntruth is to pay for everything in pennies.
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Idiot of The Day [14 Oct 2004|11:17am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

People are stupid, especially my parents.

Current Idiot: My Mother
She wants me to stay off of the computer because she think's I'll mess it up... -.- I'm the one who always fixes it when they fuck it up. For example, last week she "accidentally" downloaded spyware into the system and it would freeze as soon as you turn it on. I fixed it. The next day she did it again by clicking one of those ads that claim to get rid of it but actually installs it. I fixed it again. I ended up having to reboot the system. Now she doesn't want to let me install the microsoft office (word, excel, powerpoint, etc.) because she's afraid that it'll slow down the computer or have the same effect as the spyware...We have 30 GB of space and we're only using 2.7...

Stupid people irritate me...

She bought me a baby blue shirt knowing I hate the color and all bright colors of the such. There was a gray and black one right next to it same shirt just gray and black. She gets the baby blue one, knowing I won't want it, so she can call me selfish and ungrateful. That's like me making here a sandwich with a lot of mayonnaise on it knowing she hates mayonnaise, then bitching and calling her ungrateful when she says she doesn't want it. I don't know if she does these things just so she can bitch or if she's incapable of comprehending, probably a bit of both.

My father is usually the one who pisses me off and that I have to resist cutting to pieces with my chainsaw in his sleep. But lately my mother has been agitating the hell out of me, and usually she's the cool one. It's like my father is being cool because he know's I'm leaving at the end of the month and no longer really give a fuck about restraining myself, and will probably let any little thing set me off...Come to think of it my brother has also been cool lately, I haven't kicked his ass in a while, my sister's been cool aswell... What the hell is my mother's deal, it's like shit has reversed...

- Go ahead and act stupid, I need another felony charge...

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The Recipe [14 Oct 2004|10:59am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

How to make a ForlornTruth

5 parts competetiveness

5 parts brilliance

5 parts empathy
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add wisdom to taste! Do not overindulge!
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What's In A Name? [13 Oct 2004|01:45pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

[Music|Funker Vogt - Killing Fields (Killed Mix)
Haujobb - Skull Fission XXX]

In these past couple of days I've been sort of arguing with this guy over a user name (omnicide). If you would like to see the comments we've made to each other go to his journal, he's said some things about me on his page and we've spoken to each other on his comment page. I suppose some would think it was foolish to argue over a name. But, Anyone who knows me knows I dislike having the same name as others. Whether it be graffiti names, gang names, rap names, or others, I've fought and battled for many (and I've never lost). I kill for names. Though they don't always die completely, I always kill something within then. Sometimes their spirit, their dreams, and even their hopes. Stab them in the hand and break their fingers so they can never tag again, or crush their jaw bones and knock out teeth so they can never rap again...

Right now I don't have time for competition...

But Omnicide is more than a name. It has more meaning than it's definition, which others solely use it for. If you'd like to know, you may ask... If I deem you worthy I may explain it to you...

At first, I didn't like this guy who has my name. I wanted to kill him...slowly. But, he proved himself to be a bit amusing. I don't necessarily want him dead anymore, but I would still like to fight him, and test his strength. I'd like to test him and see if he is worthy of joining my cause. Is he ash or dust, time will soon tell. But, until then, I've made a present for you omnicide... I've created a new user name just for you. Deified Omnicide (deifiedomnicide)

Deified: 1. To make a god of; raise to the condition of a god.
2. To worship or revere as a god: deify a leader.
3. To idealize; exalt: deifying success.

Omnicide: 1. To kill or the act of killing all.
2. The killer of all.
3. The death of all.

Deified Omnicide: 1. The death of all seen as to be brought upon by God.
2. The killer of all revered as God or a god.

And just for fun I'll define my aol screen name.

Virulent: 1. Extremely infectious, malignant, poisonous, or venomous.
2. Capable of causing disease by breaking down protective mechanisms of the host.
3. Marked by a rapid, severe, and malignant course.
4. Bitterly hostile or antagonistic; hateful.
Very bitter in enmity; actuated by a desire to injure.

Virulent Omnicide: 1. Violent rapid, and severe death to all.
2. Hateful and hostile death to all.
3. Death to all by infectious disease, poison and/or venom.

I'm not quite sure as to what I'm going to use the deifiedomnicide user name for, I might just use it for my rap lyrics.

- Fuck Cigarettes, there are better ways to die. Like drinking and driving. Now that shit is fun.

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[11 Oct 2004|02:26pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I like the new remake of John Lennon's Imagine by A Perfect Circle. I showed it to my friend and he some what got it... Then we started talking about APC, Tool, the government and a lot of other things. I had also shown him my other favorite song by APC, Judith (Imagine is now also a favorite of mine). I had to explain to him why I liked it...

It demonstrates the blind loyalty of most people. They believe "God" is orchestrator of everything. So of course he'd be the cause of of their pain and suffering. But, no matter how fucked up the things they're put through they still obey blindly. If people were under the authority of a normal person who put them through suffering, there'd be an uprising or mutiny. So, what's the difference between this normal person and God? If you don't obey God you'll be sent to this imaginary place consumed in flames and you'll be tortured for eternity... Imbeciles...

People are too stupid to realize that in most cases they are the source of their own suffering. And if they are not the source they're either to weak or to stupid to fix it. They either pray pathetically to someone who's not going to do anything to help, or they lose faith and become these poseur devil worshipers who think they're cool because they're attempting to rebel against something that doesn't even exist. Rebellion is just as bad as conformity, they're both for the weak and simple-minded. True strength comes from adaptation. Sometimes intelligence is defined as the capability of one to adapt to his environment or to adapt his environment to their likings. If you'd really like to display true strength and intelligence adapt, change things and make a difference. Don't just take a stand, act and make something happen.

- Any Fool Can Rebel, And Conformity Is For The Weak. True Power Comes With Adaptation.

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